Martian Rover

 Today we experienced the famed Taklamakan Desert. Famed because it is one of two shifting deserts, meaning the sand dunes move year by year. The day included an off-road section, which I thought might only be a few miles, skirting around a new coal mining plant, but it turned out to be much longer; bumpy, sandy and not so good for the Vauxhall but we survived. I suppose we can’t really claim to have experienced a desert if it is all on tarmac roads, so we were ‘grateful’ for the chance to show the fantastic torque of the mighty (enough of this twaddle, Ed)

We have, on this tour, seen a few desolate places. Most recently, in China, long vistas of emptiness have been marred by endless pylons and telegraph lines. But today, we were free of such obstructions. It was like a training ground for Martian Rovers. I’m not sure that the Chinese have put one on Mars yet but surely it is only a matter of time. Wild, endless, desolate, barren, rocky, sandy, weathered, awesome, epic, vast, timeless are only a few adjectives conjured up by my feeble mind (no use of a Thesaurus either) and they hardly describe it. As Nellie said “how do you describe nothingness?” But it’s more than nothing, it is something, but it’s bleak, it’s terrible and it’s beautiful. 

Somehow, the faster Lagondas slipped away from their slower team mates and were not to be seen again until we reached the hotel, so I have nothing to report on them. The two centenarians ploughed on relentlessly, giving each other encouragement and succour. Crews were supportive to each other, as one should be in dangerous parts. Maybe the younger cars will learn. 

The disengagement occurred after we had visited an extraordinary tourist attraction, which our guide led us to. No one expected to see plastic tulips in a sand dune but there they were. Plastic camels? Yup. Plastic globe? Yup. I think it is a Chinese thing. We couldn’t get away fast enough. 

Our road through the desert was occupied by dozens of Chinese lorries and us alone. The lorries are all of a standard size and type and all painted red. They are open decked with tarpaulins covering the goods. I have hardly seen a container nor a curtain sided truck, which are so prevalent in Europe. 

We also saw periods the ugliest car ever made. Fully Chinese. They are brilliant mimics. Range Rovers which are not Range Rovers are everywhere. But this carbuncle has no one to blame but itself.