Fettling

 We were due to have a rest day, but last night’s hotel was disappointing and we elected not to stay a second night. After a nice-ish breakfast, including a combination of Gold Blend and Turkish coffee to sustain us, we took a gentle route along the coast for a half-day. Ed enjoyed driving Louisa (Nigel’s car) for the first time. Chris managed to get his tyre mended and Efes beers provided the thirst quench. 

This afternoon we all fiddled and fettled with our cars. Some perhaps more successfully than others. Ham turned his Cyclops off. Chris and Mark but did not find the source of an oil leak. Nigel tweeted and twanged and is confident his car will run forever. Your intrepid reporter successfully changed a brake light. 

I was reminded, before dinner, of an entry I wanted to write about but until now has remained unblemished, unimproved, unlikely; but folks I tell you it is true. You see, in Turkey they have a system not unlike the Congestion (sic) Charge. You drive: you pay. But here the paying bit is quite tedious and very opaque, so we haven’t bothered. And so, background now established, I can tell my story. Arriving at a Peage (yes, it is so called) we followed the Rolls up to the attendant-less barrier, which failed to raise itself in ‘homage’. Whereupon, I am certain I heard these words, uttered by a former officer of the Senior Service to the metallic machine  “Goddam it! Open up. We are English and we need to pass”. The barrier was unmoved by such rhetoric and indeed remained unmoving. 

A queue had developed by this stage. We all reversed up, pretending the barrier had stopped working within its normal parameters and tried the next lane. I was waved in by a lorry driver (fool, I thought) and we had much the same experience as just described but without those same words. Somehow, miraculously, or perhaps because my vocabulary did not stretch to Jingoism, the barrier raised itself slowly at first and then properly. We were through! The Rolls occupants tried afresh with a slightly changed routine of cajoling and other pleasantries and more importantly revealing her number plate and she was through. 

We have investigated the payment routine and we are confident we can sort it out at the border😬